Tuesday

It is actually really frustrating, these dips in my creative energy. It is like waiting to be possessed and being ignored, untouched. And now it is growing colder and I am an absolute bear in the winter, seeking as much sleep as I can fit into my day. The only thing good about winter is not being cold. I take that back, the sky is lovely in the winter, you know, when it is not grey and placid. I will have to work on some other projects, video and animation based; kinetic projects will keep me warm. I doubt my…

Sunday

Yesterday. we had a little event at work called Kids Play Around the World, complete with guest teachers from other countries including Vietnam, Korea, Russia, and Hungary. I dressed subtly in blue slacks with a horizontal red, white, and blue striped shirt. Since Japan has co-opted so many aspects of America, it is hard to introduce something new to them so I simply play children’s playground games. The Hungarian and Russian though had other ideas about what I should be doing. Why not wear cowboy clothes, they suggested, those are traditional American clothes. Teach them square dancing, they suggested, or…

Saturday

Quietude. I have drifted into a state where words are unnecessary, burdensome. During this phase of the month, I simply work, read, study, and take care of the kids. Nothing new is created, not even sentences. My manuscript file has not been opened in days. I cook root vegetables, big gnarly radishes and tubers; I make soup and tea. Sustenance but not innovation. It is colder now, darker. I adapt to the seasonal shift by slowing down, stripping my mind of its more frivolous thoughts. Zen but only in the sense of nothingness. An inky pool in which I float,…

Monday

When Kathleen was in her early forties, her sons were drag-racing on the parkway with some other teenagers and did not take the turn well. Their cars slammed into the great oaks that lined the two-lane road. Samuel was driving and died on impact. His best friend Andy was paralyzed from the neck down but Reggie, Kathleen’s youngest son, somehow survived. On that day, Kathleen’s husband was down in Daytona at the races,there with his latest girlfriend. In order to tell him about the accident, they had to call his name on the PA system and then it was his…

Sunday

With this novel, I have finally found an occupation that uses all my skills, including my less sane ones that allow me to become the characters so I can share their stories. It is exhausting to be so many people. Right now I am focusing on the two who will become the mother and father. One is a researcher so I must do all his research for him, a lot of which involves translating Japanese. The other is an art student so I must make her art for her as well as her true passion, which is making pastries. As…

Saturday

I did manage to get that app working and promptly deleted it. I was just teasing, after all. It is my prerogative, I think, though I am not sure how I arrived at that conclusion. I am deskwarming again today so I wrote a little something, fictional perhaps. Or perhaps not. I am not sure. What if we were reversed?If I had come before you? Would things have been different? Most likely as I am nicer than you. And yet, you are not unkind. Now that I am the age that you were then, I understand who you were then better…

Thursday

The euphoria of starting the book has waned which is good because that is not where the actual work lives. I have sunk into these characters, into their lives, their world, their hopes and fears. It consumes all of my non-work/family thoughts and I have to keep a level head or else it will colonize those thoughts as well. This is actually why I have hesitated to write, not because I doubted my abilities but because I knew that I must surrender my life to it. Writing is not something I can own: it owns me. It is like drowning…