Monday

I worked seven days this past week, most of them exceeding eleven hours. We had a school event, the annual music concert, and so it was exceptional. And today, oh today, is a day off.

Weekdays off are my absolute favorite. Because I have always been a full-time worker, the weekdays are a blur of pushing the kids out the door, getting myself out the door, bicycling hard in heels to work, teaching and doing misc. school duties, then bicycling home to get the evening chores taken care of, the kids tucked in and read to, and going for a run before I eat dinner, take a shower, and go to sleep for four hours. But today, today, oh today, the kids are at school, Jason is packing up for work, and I get the house to myself for several hours. I have only two things on my list: finish the painting for my parents’ birthday and go swimming at the sports center down the street. Good list, eh?

I will probably pop back in here if I start to feel chatty and add words to the count. I do have a book I am almost finished with though so most likely I will be content with my own company for a while. My own company. As much as I can whine about loneliness, I do love to be alone. I will probably finish that story today. It has taken some unexpected turns which delighted me but when I ran the outline past Jason, it was met with, huh? Why is he a squid? And I said, I don’t know, I am just letting the story be what it wants to be, and he started talking about something unrelated. Which reminds me of a poem I wrote a while back, when I was still adjusting to the situation of being married but not married, of loving someone without being in love with them. It is not easy for a writer to have a non-reader as a co-parent; being hyper-empathetic means I can feel his feelings, his disinterest and distraction. I am learning not to take it personally, though it is a fucking long haul lesson since no writer wants her words and ideas to be brushed aside like a pesky fly that keeps landing on the rim of your glass. Instead of being indignant, I just laughed to myself and looked forward to my morning writing session.

Anyway, now everyone is gone, the door is locked, the coffee is made and I am ready to work. Ja, ne.